Reflections of our new Virus times:
- Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half with a drinking problem
- I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune, now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe
- I need to practise social distancing with the refrigerator
- I still haven’t decided where to go for Easter – the living room or the bedroom
- Every few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they still fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
- I don’t think anyone expected when we changed the clocks, we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
- This morning, I saw my neighour talking to her cat again. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. When I got back into the house, I told my dog and we both laughed.
- My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.
- I’m so excited it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
- I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to “Puerto Backyarda” cos I’m getting real tired of “Los Livingroom”
- Classified ad:
Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun
- Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under….!!